Talk Like an Egyptian

“Pharaoh’s Daughter,” originally aired April 25, 1994.  Nostalgia and spoilers within.

So, MacLeod feels the buzzing, and after he beats up some people, he realizes that the immortal is inside a shipping crate.  Say whaaaaat. In fact, inside a sarcophagus.  Good thing they didn’t mummify this one…who inexplicably knows how to speak English although she thinks Rome still rules the world.  Ummmm.  I don’t think Immortality works like that.  And Mac clearly doesn’t know history, because he could have told her they were in Gaul.  Anyway, they leave, and someone is stalking them.  That someone I guess is in charge of the museum or something, because he tells the people that nothing was stolen.  Maurice, of course, tries to figure out what her deal is, but Mac kicks him out and catches Nefertiri up on modernity.  We learn that the guy who organized the shipment is a Watcher.  Or maybe not?  I’m confused.  OH, his helper is an evil watcher, I think, we learn later.  I just saw the mark, I couldn’t really figure out whose arm it was on.  Anyway, Mac and Nefertiri go to the museum and run into him/Marcus Constantine (wtf, does not sound 1st c AD to me), and he wants to kill Nefertiri because ROME V. EGYPT 4EVAR.

But the Roman actually has reformed and DOESN’T want to kill her.  He grew disillusioned with Romans and their slave-based economy, and he became a historian to preserve history lessons.  Let me heart-eye for a moment.  But while Mac is talking to the Roman and learning about the old romance between the Marcus and Nef, the evil Watcher goes to the barge to fight Nef.  Nef kills him pretty easily.  Mac APPARENTLY doesn’t notice the Watcher’s mark when he’s hiding the body because he’s all WTF why would they kill you?  She thinks it’s Constantine because he’s a big old Rome fanboy.

Then there’s a really long sex scene, because Egyptians are sex gods.  Obvs.  Also because this show usually has to have some filler, and they’ll use either sex or a workout scene for those minutes (because the episodes had to be longer for European runtime but shorter for American.  #trufax)

And then there’s the most awkward dinner party ever with Marcus & his wife, Mac, and Nef.  Of course, then Nefertiri kills the wife to get revenge, so.  That got worse quickly.  Although the way the Roman runs?  Unintentionally hilarious.  The Roman guy remains super contrite, which makes me happy, because I am a sucker for a good reform.  But Nefertiri is set on beheading him, so Mac has to fight her.  She’s actually really close to taking his head, too, because he doesn’t want to fight, but she’s 2000 years out of practice, so.  Then he cries a lot, and the Roman comforts him.  They talk about Darius.  This is all really sad and I love it.

I was really not looking forward to this episode, but I ended up liking it more than I remembered.  If you took someone from antiquity into modernity, there really would be a lot of killings.

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